QAF 507: Do you realize this season is well over half done?

What did I say last week about Lindsay's stupid parents? Lindsay moves into their house, assuming that a sympathetic gesture is just that, only to find out that her parents only offered her a place in their home because they thought the lesbian in her was cold and dead.

Let's get this straight. Sam Auerbach wasn't a man. Sam could have been a woman – Lindsay still would have fucked her. It wasn’t so much the gender as it was the person, especially since she was feeling so put off by Mel at home (hard to believe, I know).

So, when Lindsay and Gus move back to the 'rents, she thinks that it is a kind gesture. A way for her to get back on her feet. Of course, her first day in their home, the Petersons throw a dinner party, to which they invite a young man for Lindsay to conversate with.

You see where this is going, right? So I don’t have to go further.

It's a set up. Mom wants Lindsay to have sex with men; Lindsay says she likes sex with women; Lindsay goes to see Mel to complain; Mel invites Lindsay to stay until she gets back on her feet.

And so the stage is set for the big lesbian get-back-together, that all of us knew, and didn't care, would happen.

You must be wondering by now, "Why all this talk about the lesbians? What about Brian and Justin?"

Well, what about Brian and Justin…

Justin completes his rapid change in identity, preferring cooking to cock, in record time. He wants Brian. Only Brian. And domesticity. And a house with a picket fence. And babies.

And, most importantly, to be told "I love you."

I think that if Brian would concede to this one little request, Justin would be so much more receptive to everything else. He just wants a sign that Brian cares for him.

Since he is apparently blind and can't see signs like the rest of us can, he was forced to leave Brian in what can only be described as the most heart-wrenching scene in QAF history.

Follow up this scene with Brian getting terribly drunk and pounding on the Stepford Fags' door at what can only be assumed is a very late hour. (Who am I kidding -- it very well could have been 10:15 p.m.) The exchange between Brian and Michael, over the "infection" of Justin and his recent desire to settle down, is probably the closest that Brian can come to say that he loves Justin, without saying the words.

According to Annamaria:
It's interesting that he blames it all on Michael, though. And Michael's response about how no one would want to be with Brian. What an asshole! What, since he's all cozy-cozy with Ben, he can't remember how he pined after Brian for 15 fucking years! I'm obviously crossing my fingers that this will cause an irreparable rift between Brian and Michael!

Amen to that. The end of having to see Michael? That would be the greatest.

And how about Michael, by the way, completely forgetting about Hunter and trying force Ben to get over his loss by going to get some throw pillows? Seriously. Has this boy-man developed mentally past the age of 13?

Justin: "That's not love. That's sacrifice."

Anyone else notice Jennifer's knowing "hmmm" in the new cockroach condo? Almost saying isn't love all about making sacrifices?

Doesn't Justin even notice the ways that Brian has change for him? I mean, Christ. He emptied out a fucking drawer for him.

And then there is Ted and Troy. Does anyone else think there was a better way to handle that situation, especially since it seemed that Ted had fallen for him? Maybe a "hey you shouldn't be so mean to the pity fucks, because I was one once and I had started this relationship to get back at you but now I really like you and can you please not be mean to your pity fucks anymore?" How about that?

And then next week there is Emmitt and DREW! How excited was I to see that little glimpse of his face in the previews for next week! I'm practically giddy just thinking about it.

And then, of course, there’s the Brian/Brandon who-can-fuck-the-fastest competition.

Let's have a recap:

Hot and not. End of contest.

Brian can have his body but not him? I don’t think that, in the end, Brian's even going to take his body. He's just not...cute. And he's also not Justin.

I still think that it's not too late to replace and refilm all of Brandon's scenes with the guy who played Smith Jerrod on SATC.

Yes, yes, yes. Much better.


person x at 4:45 PM

4 spoke


at Monday, June 27, 2005 5:42:00 PM Blogger annamaria said...

I'll comment more later, but I just need to respond to this:

"Doesn't Justin even notice the ways that Brian has change for him? I mean, Christ. He emptied out a fucking drawer for him."

Amen to that, sister! Seriously, think of all of the ways that Brian has sacrificed for Justin--letting him move in when he had no place to go; agreeing to the infamous rules (all of which Justin broke, and yet Brian continued with the no kissing rule even after they broke up; paying for his education (again, even after they broke up); fuck, he even gave up his job at Vanguard when he decided to help Justin bring down Stockwell.

I think Jennifer's "hmmm" shows that she realizes how much Brian loves Justin, even if he won't say the words. Now it's just time for Justin to realize it.

at Wednesday, June 29, 2005 11:14:00 AM Blogger annamaria said...

Okay, time to comment more:

1. Lindsay's parents. Yawn. Yeah, didn't see this coming. And the moving in with Mel...whatever. Seriously, just get the ladies back together already, because I know you really, really want to. I'm willing to suspend reality on this one, although it's really difficult to believe that Mel is going to just drop the "You fucked a man!" line in the future.

1.5. Jen, you are so right about Sam Auerbach. Think about it, Lindsay has a type--agressive, no-bullshit, strong-willed--and all the great loves of her life have met this type regardless of gender. After all, aren't Melanie, Brian and Sam essentially the same kind of person?

2. Ted and Troy. Definitely could have been handled better on Ted's part. Sad thing is, I was beginning to like Troy. Why, you ask? Because, like Brian, he's honest. He made no excuses for his behavior, and honestly believed that one night with Troy was all the Aunt Pity Fucks needed to feel better about themselves. Misguided, yes, but honest. I did enjoy the montage of various sexual positions (I literally fell off the couch, shrieking with laughter when I saw Ted doing handstands), as well as Emmett and Brian as the angel/devil on Ted's shoulders. Nice touch.

3. Michael/Ben/Hunter. Oh, poor Hunter. I love that kid so much now, and I hate knowing that he's in so much pain. At first, I was a little upset that we didn't even get a glimpse of him in 507, but I guess that's supposed to make you feel Ben's pain a little. And I loved how Ben pointed out that while Michael will always have JR, Hunter was his son...his blood, as he put it. I wanted to strangle Michael when he suggested a trip to buy throw pillows. Fucking clueless.

4. Brian and Brandon. Yeah, so not-hot Brandon looked less not-hot this week, but still no where near as delicious as Brian. There's no contest. Even if the previews didn't give it all away (and the previews sucking this season is another post altogether), you know there is no way that Brian is going to lose. Best case scenario--Brian wins only to realize that victory is short-lived when you have no one to share it with. I'm not anticipating monogamy, but certainly more of an effort on Brian's part to make it obvious to thick-as-a-fucking-brick Justin that he's in love with him.

5. Emmett and Debbie--so incredibly useless this episode, which is sad, because I love those two. The only good things: Justin putting Debbie in her place about Brian, and Emmett looking fucking FABulous in kohl eyeliner.

at Wednesday, June 29, 2005 8:00:00 PM Blogger Sticky Keys said...

I love you so much!

Total shoutout in the next recap!

at Thursday, June 30, 2005 8:13:00 AM Blogger annamaria said...

Awww...we love you, too!

But I still think you're wrong about Jennifer!


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