QAF 508: "It's who you are, baby. You can't deny it"

Here we are folks--it's the tipping point. The final season is officially half over, and with only a handful of episodes left, the tension has been ratcheted up and things are starting to fall into place. And, I've got to say, despite the disappointing beginning of this season, I'm starting to like where things are headed. I'm almost afraid to say this, for fear that I might jinx the last five episodes, but 508 might actually be one of the best QAF episodes ever! Bear with me boys and girls, this is going to be a long one.

First of all:

What do these six men have in common? They've all just had the best fucking week of their lives.

Hot-Hot Brian and Not-Hot Brandon have officially begun their competition to finally figure out who is the biggest slut, ahem, excuse me, stud in Pittsburgh. The competition is fierce, and Brian outdoes even himself by getting on a plane to Puerto Vallarta to pick up his #10, a one Mr. Alex Easley. Needless to say, Mr. Easley lives up to his name, and La Kinney remains the hottest fag in Pittsburgh. Long live the king.

Brandon comes to the loft to present his not-hot ass to Brian, while uttering the most asinine words ever heard on QAF:

"You can have my ass, but you can't have me."

Um, excuse me not-hot Brandon? Brian just sent the love of his life packing, and you actually think he's looking to replace him with you? In fact, Brian pulls a total about-face, and in a stunning display of not very Brian-life behavior, kicks Brandon to the curb before fucking him. What's going on here? Could it be that fucking has lost its appeal now that it is so easily won? Maybe Brian realizes that Lindsay was right when she told him he'd "already lost something far more valuable."*

In the end, Brandon is allowed back into Babylon, despite losing the bet. Brian seals his fate when he tells Ted, "You can lock the doors, bar the windows, but eventually it's bound to get in." Could Brian be talking about love?

Speaking of love, domestic bliss abounds in the muncher villa, and you know it's supposed to be obvious to us because even dumber than shit Michael comments on it. Melanie and Lindsay are trying an in-house separation--you know, kind of like Fergie and Prince whatever-the-fuck (Help me out here, Rich). Lindsay claims that this arrangement is the best. thing. ever. Cue the foreshadowing of complete and utter disaster. Meany-Melanie meets Cutie-Corrine at the Stop Prop 14 phone bank, and they get caught kissing...by Lindsay! Oh shit. Needless to say, Linds goes running to Brian, who shows a complete lack of sympathy (surprise, surprise), and she finally agrees to some stupid rules about not having tricks, er dates at the house. Sound familiar? Yeah, and we all know what happened when Brian and Justin tried out those rules, don't we?

So while Melanie and Corrine are flirting, the gang decides to target the businesses that are supporting that most homophobic of bills, Stop Prop 14, and guess who's on the list: Craig Taylor. I was wondering when evil Craig was going to rear his ugly head--after all, it is an odd numbered season! Justin confronts Craig, who calls his own son "a disgrace and an abomination" and then confirms every kid's worst nightmare--his parents' divorce was all his fault. Yeah, Craig is a real sweetheart. So, Justin organizes a demonstration in front of Taylor Electric, and Craig has a stunning demonstration of his own: how to be a complete and total prick and have your son arrested. Nice. Family values my ass.

So while Craig is disowning his son for the millionth time, Ben is trying desperately to find his. Another Hunter-less episode makes Annamaria a very unhappy girl. Damn that little hustler, I just love him! Michael is just trying to get on with his life (asshole) while Ben finds some hustlers who tell him that Hunter has left town with no intention of coming back. Oh, and what's with Michael calling Hunter an "ungrateful little prick"? Hello Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle. Have I insulted Michael enough this week? Can I call him a complete and total motherfucking asshole again and not be redundant? Because I think it bears repeating. In fact, I'm going to say it loud and proud so that there is no misunderstanding:


There, I feel better now that that is off my chest.

Boyd Likes Boys

Well, everyone, I've saved the best for last--DREW BOYD! Oh, how I have longed to see Drew this season, and while I want to hate everyone that has ever had anything to do with QAF for making me wait eight fucking episodes for it, I just can't. Not when Drew is so fucking phenomenal in this episode. Apparently, since Drew has been conspicuously absent for so long, QAF wants to get as much information in as possible. I'll recap, using the very efficient bullet-list system:

Got it? Drew comes to Emmett for advice on how to handle the situation. Emmett convinces him that the only way is to come out of the closet and finally admit to being gay. Drew not only admits to being gay, but to having feelings to Emmett and Annamaria cries at one of the most touching and poignant scenes ever.

So, folks, overall a great episode. I can't really complain about anything other than Michael, but what else is new. If the rest of the season is like this episode, I might just be willing to let this series go.

*What's with the recycling of old lines this season? Isn't this almost exactly what Lindsay said to Brian after he kicked Justin during the season one loft burglary?


annamaria at 11:01 AM

6 spoke


at Monday, July 04, 2005 12:12:00 PM Blogger person x said...

“My mother’s a frigid bitch. My father was an abusive drunk. They had a hateful marriage, which is probably why I’m unwilling or unable to form a long-term relationship of my own. The fact that I drink like a fish, use drugs and have more-or-less redefined promiscuity doesn’t help much. As a result, I’ve lost the two people in my life who mean the most to me.”

Was it just me, or did anyone else almost fall on the floor, blown over by the fact that Brian actually verbalized his issues? I fucking loved it.

And I'm always really interested in scenes that feature only Brian and Ted -- they have a strange dynamic. Ted being the first person Brian told he had cancer. Brian being the one that Ted picked to decide to pull the plug in his living will. Brian getting Ted to work at Kinnetic.

And did anyone else notice what a shitty lay Brandon was? Seeming overly bored when bedding all his tricks during the doing-it montage? I think that the flighty fags that so quickly dismissed Brian as being old news would soon be coming back his way after finding out that Brandon sucked big time (and not in a good way).

If anything, Brian has a good reputation for his abilities.

Brandon? Now not only not hot, but also not hot in bed. Two thumbs down.

And Drew mf'ing Boyd? God, I love him. have I mentioned that?

And I loved the moment that Drew said "gay." And i loved the previews for next week, when it shows him coming out on television.

If Drew and Emmitt don't end up happily ever after, someone at Showtime is going to get some very angry mail.

OH! And don't get me started on how much more I hate Michael with every passing episode.

Coming home and yelling at Ben for smoking with the window closed when you just gave away Hunter's fucking bed??? And I'm still pissed about the throw pillows, and how Michael thought a quick trip to pick some up would make Ben forget all about his lost son.

You are already giving Justin money -- why not just buy him a shitty twin mattress to go with his shitty apartment. Hell, buy a used, stained one. It will go with the decor.

[A special thanks to Annamaria for posting on the holiday! I don't think I could have waited until tomorrow to post about this episode!]

at Monday, July 04, 2005 12:26:00 PM Blogger person x said...

Oh, and!

More on the "Next on..." scenes.

Anyone smell a raging hypocrite with Justin ragging on Jennifer and her new relationship with the younger man? Jennifer being the Brian to the boyfriend's Justin? Like he has room to talk.

at Monday, July 04, 2005 12:52:00 PM Blogger annamaria said...

Jen, thanks so much for posting Brian's speech about his parents and his inability to form a relationship. I was completely floored by his honesty in that scene, and thus unable to form a coherent response to it in this post.

I really like the fact that Brian confessed this to Ted, rather than to Michael or Justin. Those two have such a strange relationship, and I think Brian respects Ted because he knows that Ted will deal with things rationally, analytically, and not emotionally like Michael, Justin or Emmett.

I think that the two conversations between Brian and Ted (this one, and the one at Babylon I quoted in the original post) show that Brian is starting to grow up. After all, who knows better than Ted that admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery?

The two Brian/Ted scenes might have actually made up for the lack of Brian/Justin screen time...well, almost. I'm still pissed that this breakup is dragging beyond one episode! Please get them back together in 509--or at least talking!

at Monday, July 04, 2005 12:54:00 PM Blogger annamaria said...

Oh, and as for Jennifer getting some action...it's about damn time! Certainly it couldn't have taken this long to get over evil Craig! And how much do I love that he's young and hot? Take that evil Craig! Good for her!

at Tuesday, July 05, 2005 10:55:00 PM Blogger ID said...

I say its all crap. The only justification that Brian Kinney could get at the end of the show is to have his character die. That way everyone can sit back and realize that he was the only one growing and changing legitimately and everyone else was just acting their part.

I think that Brian and Ted are the best duo on the show. Their polarity is their common bond. I see a big Brian validating Teddy's existence at the end of the show.

Pure class by BK to kick Brandon out of the loft. Not fucking him, then letting him back into Babylon and the comment to Ted was the biggest indication of a changed Brian Kinney that we have ever seen.

I hope that Michael and Justin get mugged coming out of his gay crack den. Those two have turned into quilt-knitting sissies that have lost all of my interest in them as characters.

I'm not so good at the QAF analysis in that my opinion of the show is purely reactive and needs to be captured at the moment it occurs. My television short term memory is on par with that guy in Memento. Pretty soon my arms will read, "Michael is a prick. Mel too. Don't trust the blonde one."

at Friday, July 08, 2005 3:09:00 PM Anonymous Kerri said...

This comment feels like not playing nice, but I must confess I hit MUTE every time Ted is onscreen. That voice...

I never watched whatever season Ted and Emmett were a couple, but I'm still shocked about it. I can't believe anybody would fuck Ted.

But then I think Brian's self-righteousness is boring so what do i know?


Post a Comment