Hey! Remember Me?

These Georgia students will steal your childrens' souls

I’m feeling down, folks. You see, whenever there is some new trend that all the cool kids are in on, I’m always the last to know. They’re throwing parties and listening to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and I’m sitting at home all alone on a Saturday night still listening to that Arcade Fire CD, which is so 2004. For instance, take this whole homosexuality indoctrination—totally missed out on that! Who knew that when my high school teachers were talking about tolerance and acceptance, there was an entire movement going on trying to lure kids into homosexual cults? Even my friends, many of whom are gay, didn’t bother to fill me in on this fun new lifestyle; instead, they let me go on my heterosexual way, totally unaware that the homosexual agenda even existed. Is it just me? Am I too femme? I mean, I’m a feminist—doesn’t that guarantee me at least an honorary membership into the dyke club?

It’s a good thing that the Concerned Women for Patriarchy America have uncovered the nefarious plot behind Gay Straight Alliances and National Ally Week. Can you imagine the consequences if such events were allowed to continue unabated? Why, our children might grow up to be tolerant, and we just can’t have that, can we? After all, tolerance breeds acceptance, and acceptance leads to full citizenship, and that will bring about something like freedom and liberty. We simply cannot stand for this!

Actually, I must admit, I’m thankful for the CWA. Not only are they a constant source of amusement and reminder of exactly why I am a radical feminist, but they can always be counted on to fall victim to my favorite conservative predilection: the inappropriate use of quotation marks. Pray tell me, why do conservatives insist on writing “gay” when gay will do? Is it because they are using their last defense against our increasingly amoral culture—the passive aggressive use of punctuation? Do they honestly believe that if they put quotation marks around words like “gay” and “marriage” and “tolerance” these things will cease to exist? Is it that easy—we can just eliminate unsavory aspects of society simply by quoting them? If so—“George Bush.” “Karl Rove.” “Jessica Simpson.” It’s worth a shot!


annamaria at 8:32 AM

1 spoke


at Wednesday, October 12, 2005 12:44:00 PM Blogger Kurt said...

It's amazing to me that people are outraged when someone with a different opinion on a matter uses their own tactics in oppostion.
For right wingnuts to be upset about handouts, meetings and fundraising activities by homsexuals is funny. Especially when GW can raise a million dollars for a cause by sending Laura there.
I read the article you linked (thanks for doing that) and find it amazing that they were upset about the Time magazine article not saying anything about the serious health risks involved in gay sex. 'Scuse me??? Why not just say that any slutty behavior is high risk and that gays in long-term, monogamous relationships are about as likely to contract an STD as I am. And it's pretty unlikely 'cause I learned to keep it in my pants a long time ago (sorry if that's too crude).
You got me worked up again....


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