10.31.2005

I have seen the light, and it is made of spaghetti.

I have never been overly religious. Until now. Religious holidays every Friday. Preaching the good word of His Noodlyness in full pirate regalia.

Yes. I said "His Noodlelyness."

And, yes. I did say "full pirate regalia."

I response to the Kansas School Board Retards -- the ones who are considering teaching the Intelligent Design theory non-science-based god talk in addition to evolution -- the FSM movement was born. That's Flying Spaghetti Monster, for those not in the know.

It turns out that it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster who created the mountains, the trees, and the "midgit" (see illustration above). We are all his creatures, here to follow Him.

The increase in global warming can be attributed to the decline in pirates. He is displeased. And this is why me must wear the full pirate regalia. To please Him is to potentially save the world from getting too hot.

Consider his powers:

...He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

Amazing.

If for no other reason, go to the site and read the open letter to the Kansas School Board, and the responses from other board members. Funniest. Site. Ever.

Anonymous at 5:46 PM

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