One more reason not to have kids…

You can watch whatever you want on TV.

The Parents Television Council has released their annual report listing the ten best and worst shows for family viewing on primetime network TV. Apparently, in my wanton, childless state I didn’t even realize that there are only nine shows on primetime television that are appropriate family viewing. In fact, of these nine shows, I watch a total of...zero. That’s right. Nothing that I watch from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. can be considered family friendly. Though, I have been known to watch two of the least family friendly shows on TV*. Here’s the list of the best shows on TV:
  1. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is an excellent example of a constructive and uplifting reality TV show. Unlike other reality series that emphasize and exploit contestants' worst qualities (greed, dishonesty, vanity, etc.), this inspiring program showcases charity and selflessness." Alright, I lied, I’ve actually watched this show on occasion. Usually, it makes me cry, which is why I tend to avoid it like the plague.

  2. Three Wishes. "Three Wishes is a much-needed antidote, showing viewers that charity is its own reward." Bo-ring. Seriously, who wants to watch Amy Grant playing angel for the poor little people?

  3. American Idol. "While some viewers may find Cowell's harsh and often blunt commentary unappealing, American Idol is an entertaining show that the entire family can enjoy. Idol doesn't have a moral or a message, but it can be appreciated for what it is: a talent competition, pure and simple. This reality series doesn't focus on backstabbing or betrayal, and it doesn't follow the contestants' bedroom shenanigans." That’s right, we let the media focus on the contestants’ bedroom shenanigans. And what better lesson for children than having Simon Cowell berate talented women for being too fat to be pop stars?

  4. The Ghost Whisperer. "In The Ghost Whisperer, ghosts appear to Melinda, a newlywed psychic, and ask her to deliver messages of love and comfort to grieving friends and family. […] Episodes so far have contained only minimal foul language, mild violence, and virtually no sexual content." If I want to watch a show about dead people, I’ll watch Six Feet Under. After all, it says something when SFU employs three former cast members of the dreadful teen movie Can’t Hardly Wait yet passes on its star, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Something tells me that JLH’s new project isn’t worth my time.

  5. Everybody Hates Chris."The outstanding feature of this series is the depiction of a loving, close-knit family where the parents act like grown-ups and the kids don't run the house. His parents work hard to provide for their children financially as well as emotionally." Um, excuse me, but Chris Rock is on the good list? This show must really suck.

  6. Reba. "Despite the off-putting premise of a divorcee whose husband cheated on her and whose daughter got pregnant while still in high school; Reba manages to deal with difficult subject matter without relying on cheap innuendo or vulgarity." Yeah, despite all that debauchery, it’s good family fun!

  7. Bernie Mac. "Originally inspired by comedian Bernie Mac's life, this returning sitcom centers on the career-driven Bernie and Wanda, who see their world turned upside down when Bernie agrees to take care of his sister's children." A career-driven woman? A man so emasculated he must lower himself to the role of caretaker? PTC’s standards must be slipping!

  8. Dancing with the Stars. "The surprise hit of the summer, Dancing with the Stars paired minor celebrities with professional dancers, and made America fall in love with ballroom dancing." Yeah, I’ve got nothing on this one. It sounds like the most dreadfully boring snooze-fest on TV. I think parents have to bribe their children to watch this.

  9. 7th Heaven. "Returning for its tenth season, 7th Heaven continues to be a beacon of family friendly entertainment. Minister Eric Camden and his wife Annie deal with the ups and downs of raising children while gently guiding their seven offspring through life." Isn’t this the show that dealt with teenage smoking by turning a 15-year-old girl into a Marlboro-puffin’ pyromaniac?

Finally, I would like to note that this post would meet with the PTC’s approval, as I refrained from using any foul language, making any sexual references, or engaging in any violent acts. This has got to be a first for me.

*That would be CSI and The Family Guy, if you're interested.

annamaria at 11:11 AM

2 spoke


at Thursday, October 20, 2005 1:05:00 PM Anonymous Rich said...

Dancing with the Stars is the American version of the BBC's recently resuscitated "classic", Strictly Come Dancing. My mother loves it - that tells you everything you need to know! ;)

at Thursday, October 20, 2005 1:45:00 PM Blogger annamaria said...

Well, by that logic, if the sweet little Irish woman loves it, it should be my favorite show as well!


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