11.09.2005
Post-Election Daze
Let's get the good news out of the way before I rant about the Detroit Mayoral race, shall we?
First of all, congratulations to 18-year-old Michael Sessions, who was elected mayor of Hillsdale last night. Sessions was only 17 this spring, and thus unable to be included on the ballot; he won the election as a write-in candidate with 732 votes. The Hillsdale High School senior, who is the youngest mayor in the college town's history, still lives at home with his mom and dad.
The Detroit City Council will be getting some new faces, most notably Monica Conyers, wife of Congressman John Conyers, and former Motown star Martha Reeves. Can I just say something here? How fucking cool is it that Martha Reeves is on the City Council? Seriously, their first order of business needs to be to pass a law requiring Ms. Reeves to sing "Heat Wave" at the beginning of every session.
Meanwhile, Ferndale has assured its place as the most liberal city in Michigan (Ann Arbor be damned) by passing a medicinal marijuana referendum. Ferndale police have vowed to ignore the ordinance, so take caution before lighting up. Neighboring city Oak Park, meanwhile, wants nothing to do with any kinds of drugs it seems, defeating a proposal that would allow restaurants to serve alcohol. Can you seriously not get a drink in an Oak Park restaurant? You learn something new everyday.
In a stunning display of ineptitude, controversy-riddled Detroit City Clerk Jackie Currie managed to lose her seat. Currie, for the non-Michiganders in the room, is currently under investigation by the FBI for her role in an alleged vote-fixing scheme. Do you see the irony there? Perhaps by losing the election, she's setting up her defense.
Finally, I offer this Open Letter to the People of Detroit, from a Concerned Suburbanite:
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??
Need I list the litany of failures and scandals that have riddled the Kilpatrick administration since day one? Remember the dead stripper cover-up? The Lincoln Navigator? The brilliant strategy to deal with the epidemic of abandoned buildings in Detroit--we'll just turn on the lights during the Superbowl so that they don't look abandoned, rather than do something to, you know, GET PEOPLE INTO THE FUCKING BUILDINGS!
Not surprisingly, people are already revolting--a new poll shows that a full third of Detroiters now want to get the hell out of the city. I live a good 20 miles outside of the city, and even I want to leave now.
Labels: The D, The Mitten
annamaria at 11:31 AM
3 Comments
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at Wednesday, November 09, 2005 12:50:00 PM
annamaria said... Apparently, Jen and I need to confer before writing anything these days. Sorry for the redundant information. On the upside, it's kind of humorous that Jen and I wrote essentially the same thing wrt Kwame.
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at Wednesday, November 09, 2005 1:25:00 PM
Kurt said...
It's so obvious to me that the good people of Detroit, so concerned about jen's depressed state of mind, wanted to cheer her up. Is it possible that her manager is from Detroit?
Re: not being able to buy liquor in certain towns
Texas has many areas that are "dry". Dallas, in fact, has a very limited area to purchase alcoholic beverages to take home. The weird thing is whenever there is an election on this issue, the churches and liquor store chains link up to oppose loosening the controls. The chains don't want to have to open more stores. As for the churches - here is the differences in the religions:
1) Jews don't recognize Jesus
2)Protestants don't recognize the Pope
3)Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store-
at Wednesday, November 09, 2005 3:43:00 PM
ID said...
Girls girls girls. Its really simple and can be summed up in just a few short words.
In honor of me taking math this quarter, allow me to set two functions equal to each other...
Kwame Kilpatrick = Coleman Young.
Now. I cant exactly say thats a bad thing. Even when I was too young to understand the fear that Young instilled into white folks everywhere, he somehow facinated me, and he wasnt even the mayor of Detroit when I moved to Michigan.
I guess when I finally complete my degree in Sociology, Ill be a Sociologist. And with that said, there is no solution for Detroit. It will just exist the way it does until everyone from the White Flight generation dies off and young people want to move back into the city.
In regards to Jen's comment. No, Michiganders, stay home. Dont come to Chicago. There are already too many of you here, and you can't drive, you act as though you have never seen a big city before, and you pose as Chicagoans after only a week.
Enjoy Chicago, but don't forget to go home.
