Barbie: Gender Revolutionary

Barbie says 'Fuck You, Patriarchy!'

I always find it humorous when I agree with the basic premise of a far-Right argument, only to be utterly confounded by the reasons they use to come at their conclusions. For instance, the basic premise is "Barbie is evil." I can get behind that. The reasoning, however, a little suspect: "A poorly-worded poll on the Barbie website promotes gender confusion and will lure your children into the hedonistic world of the homoabortionists*." Yeah, I’m not so down with that.

Concerned Women for Patriarchy America spent some time at Barbie’s Malibu Mansion, and found a poll which suggests that America’s favorite doll** wants to turn your babies gay. The poll started out innocuously enough, asking children to enter their gender from a drop down box; unfortunately, the nefarious web designers betrayed their true intentions by offering up three gender choices: girl, boy and I don’t know. Obviously, by offering up a third choice (which rumor has it was originally "bear daddy" before being changed to the more gender-inclusive "I don’t know"), Mattel are intimating that it is perfectly acceptable for children to usurp the gender binary, spelling doom…DOOM!...for the American way—you know, traditional families, apple pie and kicking the queers while they’re down.

CWA’s Robert Knight (a man!), had this to say:
"It’s the idea that well, maybe people aren’t born a particular biological sex, or they are but that shouldn’t determine their gender identity," Knight said. "And that’s a very big component of the homosexual activist agenda now."

The acronyms for the movement used to be limited to L and G, which stands for lesbian and gay. Then they added the letter, B, which means bisexual. Now it’s LGBT lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender and some even add Q, which stands for questioning youth***, Knight pointed out.

"In other words, any kid who’s not sure about who he is, he’s fair game to try to persuade to have same sex acts," said Knight.

Holy leap of logic, Patriarchy Man! I can imagine the scenario right now:

Little Timmy (or perhaps Tammy) logs onto the Barbie website to answer a poll about whether Ken or Blaine is the better man for Barbie (we’re going to leave aside the obvious fact that any man named Blaine is gay). Timmy/Tammy looks at the drop down menu and realizes that a third choice is available—a beacon of light and hope for the youngster who has been questioning his/her gender identity of late, due mostly to a predilection toward shooting guns while wearing high heels. Timmy/Tammy grows up, consoled by the knowledge that Barbie understands his/her true state of gender ambiguity, and promptly joins a homoabortionist sect, where he/she is lured into homosexual acts by leather daddies/bull dykes, who capitalize on Timmy/Tammy’s gender confusion and keen fashion sense. They all live happily ever after. No wait! I mean, Timmy/Tammy flounders without the oppressive weight of binary gender distinctions keeping him/her from floating off into space and burning up in the exosphere. There, that’s better.

*I’ve decided that “homoabortionists” is the funniest word I’ve ever made up, and will continue to use it whenever fundies talk about “the gays.”
**Anyone know if the story about the Lilli doll, on which Barbie was based, being a sort of German gay counterculture icon is true?
***As an aside, the Q in LGBTQI (and unwieldy acronym that I’ve never actually heard anyone use) stands for Queer or Questioning. Only Bob Knight seems to think that “Questioning” implies youth; anyone who’s taken a Queer Studies class, or, you know, actually knows someone who’s gay, would know otherwise.

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annamaria at 11:57 AM

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