2.28.2006

Incontrovertable proof of the gay and lesbian agenda

This one's for you, Kerri:



Frippy tells the story of an Exodus International billboard that got a pretty little makeover from the good citizens of St. Louis.

I've said this before, but I seem to be in a redundant mood lately, so I'll say it again: Even if it is possible that one can change their sexuality from gay to straight, why should they? That is my biggest problem with these so-called "ex-gay" ministries--they offer no good reason for anyone to subvert their natural sexual orientation in favor of a new one. I'm straight, and I don't care how much indoctrination I receive at the hands of the homoprop™ artists of the world, nothing is going to change that. But even if I were to entertain the notion that I could, through the good work of the "ex-straight" ministries of the world, become a lesbian overnight, there is absolutely no reason why I should. It seems that the only reason that Exodus International and Love Won Out, et. al. have for changing one's sexual orientation is to avoid the very bigotry these groups espouse.

I take my marching orders (and the occassional link) from Twisty.

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annamaria at 7:14 AM

6 spoke

6 Comments

at Tuesday, February 28, 2006 9:55:00 AM Blogger Dane meets Simone said...

Oh c'mon, you know you wanna...

In fact, I invite you to Ferndale for a jumping in ceremony on the first Wednesday of the new month so I can take you to Como's to meet 200 lesbians you won't be attracted to. Not at first.

Then, on Thursday, to Soho for martinis because lesbians own the joint and it's a great place to watch dykes in their natural habitat. Smoking on the patio only. Before Soho, we'll stop in at Just 4 Us to rent gay porn, buy wrap sandwiches, and choose our favorite rainbow stickers/flags/greeting cards. Complimentary copies of Bitch and Bear magazine included (if you smoke on the patio with the owners).

On the following Friday, girls night at the Q. More lesbians, more drinking, but also lots of dancing. Leave your purse in the car (along with whatever you’re wearing over your wifebeater). Chain wallets are ok. Any tattoos must be fully visible even if we have to see the crack of your ass. In fact, yes to the crack of your ass.

On the following Sunday, back to Soho for the weekly L Word viewing party, where you will cheer all sex scenes between girls and boo (vociferously) all the ones where the bisexual chick prepares to leave her long-time partner for a man. Free "She's My Bitch" tank top included.

Then back to my house for random perversions (South of Nowhere starts at 10:30). A small cover charge is included for any drug use or post-drug-use pizza and bread sticks. The price of a cab should be kept on your person at all times. Otherwise, do not plan. Do not think. Just feel the power

 
at Tuesday, February 28, 2006 10:22:00 AM Blogger annamaria said...

Damn, being a lesbian sounds really labor intensive. I thought it was all about not wearing makeup and sneering at men. Of course, if that was the case, I already would be a lesbian.

As for your nefarious plans--count me in! Como's rocks, and if we go to Soho on a Sunday night they'll have Family Guy on the TV. :)

Can you really get wrap sandwiches and gay porn at Just 4 Us? What a brilliant marketing scheme!

 
at Tuesday, February 28, 2006 6:38:00 PM Blogger ID said...

Im certainly not cut out to be a lesbian. It seems that there is way too much smoking involved, on the patio or otherwise. Jeez.

Now the drug use, and the post drug use pizza and breadsticks, thats a different story.

 
at Tuesday, February 28, 2006 7:27:00 PM Blogger Kurt said...

i'm confused.
you mean all this time being homosexual really did mean a hedonistic life of selfish pleasure and narcissism? Or is that only for lesbians?
I knew I should have listened to John when he told me I would make a good gay (except for that same sex sex thing)...

 
at Wednesday, March 01, 2006 9:25:00 AM Blogger Dane meets Simone said...

First of all, poor Hedonism. So misunderstood and unfairly maligned.

Second, I'm not sure what wrap sandwiches and 200 unattractive lesbians have to do with narcissism or selfish pleasure. I do understand how dancing fits in though. I saw Footloose three times. (I blame incipient lesbian attachment to Lori Singer.)

Last, to ID: I think of smoking as the reward I get for not killing myself. It's post-ironic.

 
at Wednesday, March 01, 2006 2:26:00 PM Blogger ID said...

I feel you KC. You should have been along on my school trip to Hawaii. One group, 7 people, and who is the only non-lesbian? Thats right.

I went with them to Hula's in Waikiki. It was like the gay-tourist-bar from hell. So many confused out of towners wondering why the boys were dancing like that. I was a bit let down though, I was expecting Babylon. Us hopeless straight folks with our expectations. :)

 

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