Rich often calls me a Grammar Queen, due to my tendency to become apoplectic over misuse of quotation marks or the failure to conjugate simple verbs. I'm not saying that my grammar is perfect (I'm sure that there are people who can find fault even with me!), but I can guarantee that I will never be guilty of such crimes against language as "I seen" or "boughten."*

Apparently, Rich isn't the only person that has noticed my language and grammar OCD; my brother Giacomo was kind enough to send me this critique of the alphabet. It's really quite funny (assuming you are a nerd like me, but not a nerd like him). For example:

L l

What.the fuck.is that? Surely no worse letterforms exist than these two duds—I mean c’mon … two lines and a line? Who designed this, some old fart completely worn out and bereft of ideas? The design rationale must’ve been one helluva snow job. The capital L has that gaping, awkward open space, and the lower case … it’s a line! and it looks like a cap I or a 1 fer god’s sake. How did this get passed?! I’m glad I don’t have any of these in my name.

I propose that the author tackle Arabic numerals next. After all...what the fuck is up with the 7? I hate the 7. I hate it so much I give it both a serif and crossbar just to make it look a little interesting. Maybe we should switch to Tamil numerals. After all, how cool is this ?

*Boughten has some degree of respectability amongst linguists, mainly due to its prevalence in the Northern U.S. (particularly the Midwest). I still say bullshit. The past participle of Buy is Bought. I defer to the Brits on this one since they invented the fucking language!

PS: Want more grammar fun? Check out these lyrics. Chris Murphy knows what I'm talking about!

annamaria at 7:36 AM

3 spoke


at Friday, August 12, 2005 11:53:00 AM Blogger Kurt said...

It's a losing battle, I'm afraid. Radio and TV advertising at one time tried to make certain grammar and syntax were correct. Now I hear mispronounciations celebrated as part of the schtick and mangled language is the norm.
Of course, I am in Texas.
I'm fixing to change the channel and not listen anymore.

at Friday, August 12, 2005 12:16:00 PM Blogger annamaria said...

"Now I hear mispronounciations celebrated as part of the schtick and mangled language is the norm."

Certainly explains the Bush election, doesn't it?

at Friday, August 12, 2005 7:30:00 PM Blogger glomgold said...

"boughten"? That sucks.
I like the capital L, but the lowercase is no gooot.


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