4.12.2006

Someone has discovered my evil plan

Jen and I are big fans of SiteMeter; it's such an interesting tool for figuring out what posts are generating the most hits, which topics are more popular than others, and what batshit crazy terms people put in search engines in order to end up here. For example, some recently searched for "penises would be chopped off" and who do you think they found?

It seems my grand feminist plot to destroy men has been uncovered. So, to answer Kerri's question: no, I'm not reloading...I'm sharpening my knives.

Labels:

annamaria at 9:36 AM

20 spoke

20 Comments

at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 12:29:00 PM Blogger ID said...

Knives? Knives?

Annamaria! Have you learned nothing from Bruce B? The only way to stop the "Yip yip yip" in the street is to get out your 40 cal Desert Eagle and peel their bananas back and mash their potatos.

Haters.

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:32:00 PM Anonymous rich said...

Should I be worried about this?

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:42:00 PM Blogger annamaria said...

Ian and Rich:
Soap: Yeah, little bit of pain never hurt anybody. If you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, fuck-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shit 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro.
Tom: Soap, is there something we should know about you?

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 1:59:00 PM Blogger Kurt said...

ok. i'll fight and be an assh*** as well.
shut us up and cut us all off. that plan works for about 50 years. then all the momma wannabes like Rosie and Melissa Ethridge will have to make do with a dwindling supply of frozen sperm, which will only drive the price higher.
so i am left to believe that annamaria is advocating an elitist policy that restricts choices and options to those with the means to make them for themselves, but leaves out the rest of the common folk. how exactly does this differ from South Dakota?

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 2:06:00 PM Blogger annamaria said...

And Kurt comes to the defense of lesbians everywhere! Of course, the best part is that the "penises would be chopped off" line comes from a comment Ian (Jen's husband) left. :)

Seriously, while I entertain my female-segregationist fantasies (usually when asshats like Bill Napoli start talking), I am a straight woman--a penisless world is hardly a utopia in my book!

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 2:27:00 PM Blogger ID said...

Hell yeah I said it. And the fact that men get all hot and bothered about it shines light on my point. If someone were trying to influence or restrict our reproductive organs there would be an outcry of maleness everywhere. Now whether thats good or bad is a whole 'nother can of worms. But its just a point.

Plus. Why's it always gotta be an attack on the lesbians? Anytime there is a progressive/confrontational measure that challenges the way we think, we try to pin it on the lesbians. Maybe its the threat to males everywhere that if it weren't for our ability to provide one half of the child making process that we could be rendered obsolete?

Next it will be the gay men for being so damn handsome and being able to rock the fashions that us straight guys couldnt get away with in our wildest dreams.

sheesh.

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 2:57:00 PM Blogger Wake of the Flood said...

It's the evolutionists fault. It can't be connected to Annamaria's intelligent design (evil plan!). Now if guys brains weren't hard wired this way.....

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 3:03:00 PM Blogger annamaria said...

But the real question is, why is there an inverse relationship between how serious I am when I blog something and the number of comments left? I swear, between Bruce B and my pretend knife-wielding fantasies, we've set some kind of record around here! :)

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 3:06:00 PM Blogger Dane meets Simone said...

I've got your sharpener right here.

love,
Mommy No-Wanna-Be

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 4:04:00 PM Blogger ID said...

AM,

When you post seriously there is nothing to contend with. You do such a crazy good job covering all aspects of the issue that there is nothing to say.

However, with the likes of gangsterism and knife fights, well, there is just so much to add.

"Yip Yip Yip. Fuck what you don't see."

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 5:45:00 PM Blogger Dane meets Simone said...

Ian's exactly right. You're too good for your own good.

And the lesbians thank you, ID, for getting our backs. We ain't hacking off the penises or using all that frozen sperm. It's the straight girls you gotta watch!

 
at Wednesday, April 12, 2006 6:40:00 PM Blogger annamaria said...

Dane meets Simone said...
"It's the straight girls you gotta watch!"

Hey! I thought I made it clear that I was kidding about the forced castration!

 
at Thursday, April 13, 2006 12:00:00 AM Blogger Dane meets Simone said...

Oh you were kidding. About the female segregationist fantasies too?? What a tease.

 
at Thursday, April 13, 2006 9:16:00 AM Blogger Kurt said...

ok, since we're on the subject, what do you think these guys' problem is? i don't think whether the knife is sharp or not matters to these strange volunteers...

oh and btw, when i said "cut us off," i didn't necessarily mean physical removal. abstinence is still the 100% effective birth control....

 
at Thursday, April 13, 2006 9:25:00 AM Blogger annamaria said...

Kurt said..."abstinence is still the 100% effective birth control.... "

Actually, so is homosexuality! :)

As for the castration volunteers...yeah, I don't get it. At all. I mean, I've been known to rant and rave about how brutal and horrific I think circumcision is; the idea of voluntarily amputating a part of your body (particularly one that I find so much fun) is really just beyond me.

 
at Thursday, April 13, 2006 9:30:00 AM Blogger annamaria said...

Kerri: I'm the tease?? I believe someone promised me a jumping in ceremony a few months ago and never delivered!

 
at Thursday, April 13, 2006 10:20:00 AM Blogger Dane meets Simone said...

I know I never delivered. I must have felt Westland on the horizon.

 
at Thursday, April 13, 2006 10:31:00 AM Blogger annamaria said...

All the more reason to party in Ferndale while you still can!

So, is the Westland thing for sure? You left it decidedly vague on your blog...I'm assuming you did that for your own sanity, though. The teal room is really cute, by the way. :)

 
at Thursday, April 13, 2006 1:40:00 PM Anonymous rich said...

All this talk of severed pensises is making me uneasy. I vote for more posts on Bruce B!


LOOK AT THE DIAMONDS!

 
at Thursday, April 13, 2006 2:12:00 PM Blogger ID said...

I agree with rich.

After watching the Bruce B video for the 178th time, I have a few more observations on our friend...

How gangsta can one really be when they live in an apartment that has door moldings and recessed lighting? Plus the walls are painted a taupe color. My guess would be that Bruce B's day job is as an interior designer.

Haters.

 

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