Hey, it's Friday! My first week back at work since the holiday has been really fucking boring. Somehow, I was elected to the position of "hey-we're-about-to-undergo-a-quality-audit-and-shouldn't-someone-make-sure-we-don't-fail" task force. Yes, I am the task force. I've been putting little labels on practically every non-moving object in the office so that we are not in violation of these completely bullshit corporate information standards, and going through co-worker's files and emails to remind them to purge everything in accordance with said bullshit corporate information standards, in the event that Major American Automotive Corporation is sued and the documents that would spell our doom are somewhere in someone's filing cabinet tucked between a Chinese take-out menu and a quarterly revenue report from 1986.

By the way, neither the take-out menu nor the 21-year-old revenue report should be in that filing cabinet anyway.

Also, just because our corporate overlords have installed neo-Orwellian software on your email client that automatically deletes messages after six months doesn't mean that a.) you never have to purge emails on your own or b.) it is acceptable to simply print out said emails and keep them indefinitely.

Finally, clean your fucking desks for fuck's sake! Seriously, coffee stains are unsightly enough, but dirty dishes in the bottom of a desk drawer? I didn't think it possible to respect some of my coworkers less than I already did, but then I became the task force.

But, as I said above before I degenerated into can't-stop-bitching-about-work girl, it's Friday! And Friday means music. And music is good. Nearly as good as music is the news that we might be getting a dog! Mama G suddenly got the yen for a cute little doggie pet while in the hospital, and lo! a friend-of-a-friend of hers is moving and unable to take the little puppy to their new residence. So, Mama G is seriously considering taking in the little raggamuffin.

I just noticed that I have prefaced every reference to the dog with "little." though I have no idea what type of dog it is nor have I actually even seen it. Just wait, Mama G is going to pull up in her ginormous SUV* someday soon with a fucking rottweiler! And, as anyone who has ever met Mama G can attest, that's actually pretty appropriate!

My music goes here:

1. If You Knew - Neko Case
She spends her Daddy's money, and she drives her Daddy's cars, and what's crazy is the way you think that's style.

2. Detachable Penis - King Missile
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again.

3. Heartbeats - The Knife
And you, you knew the hand of the devil

4. In My Arms - Rufus Wainwright
I ain't a soft and saccharine wannabe

5. Avenue B - Gogol Bordello
Oh little Sally with the magic pebbles, now she sells equipment to the Chechen rebels.

6. Filthy/Gorgeous - Scissor Sisters
You make me feel so nasty

7. Gimme Shelter - The Rolling Stones
I tell you love, sister, is just a kiss away

8. 50ft Queenie - PJ Harvey
Tell you my name: F-U-C-K

9. Julie's Been Working for the Drug Squad - The Clash
You could've been a physicist, but now your name's on the mailbag list

10. L'Italiano - Toto Cotugno
Lasciatemi cantare con la chitarre in mano, lasciatami cantare sono L'Italiano

Your music goes in the comments.


*Until you've seen a little 70-year-old Italian grandmother efficiently parallel park one of these, you've not truly lived.